 |
  
|
| Tips for Employees and Working Parents |
|
Alternatives to the Nine-to-Five Grind
Not For Women Only: Single dads struggle for work-family balance By: Sherri Pfeil December, 1999 Employment Review© on-line We often hear about the work-life dilemma women go through in corporate America - shuffling the kids off to school in time to make that 8 a.m. meeting, leaving during lunch to attend a teacher/parent conference, getting out of work a little early in order to pick up the baby from day care. Women, however, aren't the only ones rushing around trying to get everyone in the house out the door on time and still make it to work looking calm and composed. There is a significant number of single working men dealing with the same issues. This is the gender we don't hear about; however, men most certainly have a story to tell. How are these single dads coping without pulling their hair out from working long hours, making the kid's soccer game and getting the grocery shopping done? Balancing work and family is as much a critical issue for them as it is for women. Take a typical day in the life of Don Lawrence, a single dad and director of marketing for Westford, Mass.-based InterSoft Technologies Inc. His alarm goes off at 6 a.m. He makes breakfast for himself and his two boys, who are in the fourth and first grades, then gets them ready for their day and himself ready for work. At 7:45 a.m. he drops them off at school and then goes to his office. After a long day it is time to pick up the children from their grandmother's house. (She watches them when they get out of school.) Once he gets the kids home, it is time to make dinner, help the boys with their homework, bath time and then put them to bed. When the lights finally go off in the children's room Lawrence gets his first chance to do some work around the house, which means making the boys' lunches for the next day, packing up art projects and washing tons of dirty little socks. When those chores are done he finally has time to catch up on his own work and then it is off to bed somewhere between midnight and 1 a.m. "I don't complain," he says. "I wouldn't trade my family for anything." Regardless of gender, being a single parent isn't a walk in the park and it's very important to have support at the office. "I can tell you that it's not always easy," Lawrence says. "But the person to whom the single father reports at work is absolutely crucial to your sanity." Lawrence considers himself fortunate because he works for a company "that recognizes the quality of its employees' lives outside the workplace." Mike L. Downey, a single dad of an 8- and a 4-year-old and a science writer with Texas Engineering Experiment Station, Communications Division, Dwight Look College of Engineering at Texas A&M University System, has also been extremely fortunate to have a supportive employer. "Everyone here is really understanding," Downey says. "It is not a problem if I have to take my son for an allergy test or take a little extra time to have lunch with my daughter." In the event that he does have to work late he makes plans to have someone pick up the kids. Unfortunately, not all men work for employers who understand the needs of a single father and his children. According to Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., president of the National Fatherhood Initiative, employers are extremely supportive of women; however, they are not as accommodating to men. "Employers tend to be older, 55 to 60 years old," Dr. Horn acknowledges. "They grew up in a different time. They believe, 'I gave him a job,' and that is all they owe the person." A report by Sesame Street Parents states that 60 percent of fathers say the workplace is more supportive of working moms than working dads. Men agonize because they believe they don't have enough time in the day to get everything they need done and feel torn between two emotions - not spending enough time with their children and worrying about being able to work. Downey says he often worries about finances and whether he should be looking to climb the corporate ladder in order to make more money. What is holding him back from making the climb is that he would have to sacrifice more of his time with his kids. Men are also experiencing the trials and tribulations of childcare. James A. Levine, Ed., director of The Fatherhood Project at the New York City-based Families and Work Institute, reports in his book Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and Family, that stress over child care, long a major concern for 23 percent of single mothers in the work force, is increasingly being shared by the 4 percent of working fathers who are single parents. What do men need to do to balance work and family effectively? In the workplace, it is vitally important for a single dad to talk with his supervisor about how to adequately balance work and family. Many people don't realize that there are policies they are entitled to such as a four-day work schedule, telecommuting part or full time, job sharing, etc. All in all there is no doubt that single dads are facing the same dilemma that plagues working moms, with one difference. Employers are more in tune with the plights of women. In order for men to juggle their different hats with ease they need to ask for help and most of all communicate. This way the balance between work and family will be achieved as we head into the 21st century. —SHERRI PFEIL, Staff Writer Helpful resources for working dads The following books offer advice and tips for fathers trying to balance their families and work.
Reprinted with permission from Employment Review© on-line:
http://www.employmentreview.com/ |
